Murphy's Law
by StandardToast
Summary: If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong. Well, as far as Sakura was concerned, they should omit the murphy dude's name and put hers in. *Some strong language and whatnot. Sasusaku?


**Murphy's Law:**

_If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong_

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"_Fuck My Life_", Sakura uttered for what seemed like the billionth time today. Today, she concluded, was definitely not her day. First she had woken up, at 4 a.m, to an excited Naruto jumping on her bed, yelling something about Ramen and Hinata. That problem had resolved itself with a swift punch to the face, Naruto on the receiving end. Then, she had spilt her precious, piping-hot coffee all over herself when Naruto had decided to show her his newest prank: jumping out of large recycling bins with a monster mask on. That problem had been solved by taping the bin shut, Naruto still inside, and wheeling it outside to be picked up. Then, Tsunade informed her already cranky apprentice that she had a solo mission, and she had to start right away. It wasn't as if the pink-haired medic disliked solo missions, it was actually quite to the contrary, she loved them, but after missing her initial dose of coffee and being woken up at an ungodly hour, all she wanted to do is have a nice, slow-paced shift at the hospital.

But no.

The mission itself was actually quite simple: heal the son of some rich merchant. Easy enough, right?

Wrong

This merchant idiot decided to live in one of the towns near the border of Fire country. On a map, it was a relatively small distance, but when you're walking, it was freaking huge.

As in 5 marathons huge.

Then, as she was innocently promenading down the stretch of road leading to the town, she was ambushed by a group of bandits. Not only were they a few bricks short of a load, but they had added a whole ten minutes to her total travel time of 7 hours, 46 minutes and 12 seconds. If only their leader had just shut his mouth so she could have dealt with them in a timely-fashion, but no, he just had to rave on about his fantasticness and how a maiden such as she should be trembling with fear. After she had dealt with the men, her medic morals had kicked in and she just _had to _roll them on their sides so they wouldn't choke on their tongues.

When she finally arrived at the _freaking_ town (which had inconveniently placed itself so far from Konoha), she learned that the merchant lived at the _very _top of the highest point of the town. As in the peak, the summit, the pinnacle, the apex, the-

Ok, so you get the point.

After climbing the bajillion stairs leading to this idiot's house (he really should install a teleportation jutsu thingy) and successfully burning all the calories she had ever consumed in her life, she thought it was going to be easy from here on in.

But no.

Not only was the merchant a complete and utter creeper, his wife, a freaking busy-body, the spoiled brat that Sakura had to heal, bit her.

BIT!!!

The green-eyed medic almost, _almost _smacked the kid upside the head. But no, she was better than that. She "accidently" mixed up a healing herb with a sedative instead.

Oops. Not.

She quickly handed the worried parents more herbs and instructions on how to prepare the mixture, assuring them that the initial dose would make the boy drowsy and that there was nothing else wrong with him. And that was supposed to be the end of the story.

Finito.

Mission completed, she could return to Konoha, curl up in bed with a nice cup of tea, a big bar of chocolate and her favourite book.

But no.

Half way down mount Stairverest, it began to rain. No, not just rain, monsoon. As in the freaking ocean had decided to empty itself onto the land. Sakura knew it would be hard to travel in this weather, so it was best to find some place to stay for the night.

And that is now where we find our pink-haired protagonist

The place she had found was a bit of a dive, all she could afford with the amount of money she brought with her. She hadn't expected to spend the night, so she had only brought a small amount. But it was enough for her to rent a room.

And buy a couple rounds of sake.

Lucky for Sakura, the inn she was at was also a sort of pub, selling some nice bottles of alcohol. The pinkette rarely drank, only when the occasion called for it: birthdays, girls-nights out, when Tsunade had finished all her paperwork, etc. After all the crap she had gone through today, Sakura knew she deserved the right to relax with some sake. She gulped down another shot, letting the burning sensation trickle down her throat, smile crossing her features. She tightened her coat around herself and pulled her hood up, trying to warm her system. With a bottle of sake in hand, there was no way this day could get any worse.

But no.

At that moment, the door blew open, revealing a large figure stumbling through the door.

"Hey, Kenta-" the man gestured to the barkeeper "-I'll take the usual, extra dry!"

The man, Sakura assumed to be Kenta, gave a quick, flustered nod towards the larger male and scurried around, getting the new customer's drink prepared. Settling down next to the small medic, the man let out a contented sigh, eying the petit girl next to him with an appreciative glance.

"Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."

Sakura smirked

_Wow. The gods are just on a roll today, aren't they?_

_Fuck My Life_

The girl giggled at her inner's commentary, she couldn't agree more. The man, assuming she was giggling at his comment, inched closer her, trying to get a better view of her face.

"So, I've never seen you around here before, you new to town girlie?"

Sakura almost snorted.

Girlie?

What, was she 10 or something?

Despite her better judgment, Sakura decided to humour the man.

"Oh yes, only passing through though. Such a shame that I don't get to get acquainted with all the wonderful people here!" she sighed out. The green-eyed medic knew she shouldn't be such a tease, but she was a little tipsy, pissed off and tired.

Why not have a little fun?

The man next to her arched an eyebrow and inched closer.

"Is that so? Well, my name is Yuudai-" he said, extending his hand outwards her "-and I wouldn't mind getting 'acquainted' with a charming lady such as yourself. " He whispered the last part in her ear, in an attempt to seduce her. She almost choked on her sake in an attempt to stamp down her laughter. She heard a bell tinkle in the background, signalling a new arrival. She would have turned to check out the entrant, but she was having too much fun baiting the poor man.

"Oh my!-"she pretended to flush in embarrassment "-you are such a roguish young man!" she exclaimed.

Good God, she was starting to sound like a character out of one of Ino's chick flicks. Sakura's instinct kicked in and she knew she should stop teasing the poor man, knowing it was mena to lead him on and that she didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

"But I'm not interested buddy, perhaps next time, eh?"

With that she turned back to her sake and took another deep gulp, sighing in content as the liquid scorched its way down. But the man next to her wasn't done.

"You little tease, you'll pay for that!"

With that, she felt him grasp her wrist to try and pull her off her seat and towards him. Too bad the man didn't know who he was dealing with. Sakura didn't budge. Yuudai tried to yank her off her seat again, but to no avail, the girl simply wasn't moving. Sakura slowly placed her precious bottle of sake on the bar with her free hand and turned her head towards the confused man.

"You know, you can't go around expecting all girls to fall at your feet. One of these days, you are going to really regret it-"

With that, the girl snapped her wrist out of his hold and slammed her palm into the large man's chest, sending him hurtling backwards. Of course she hadn't used all her strength; she didn't want to reduce the guy to nothing after all. Yuudai slammed into the door to the inn with a thud and crumpled to the ground. Thinking the fight was over; she turned back to her drink. Only one shot remained.

Dammit

"You…you inhuman…bitch!!" he spluttered out, rising to his felt in rage, clutching his aching chest.

"I'm not a bitch, I just have a low bullshit tolerance" she sang out, furthering the man's rising anger. She sensed him starting run towards her and she pulled out the remainder of her money.

"I hope this will cover the expense of the door" she said to the confused bartender, smiling sweetly all the while. As Yuudai desended upon her, she arched her back and slid out of her seat, letting the man stumble by her. Surprised, theman turned, with only enough time to see a glowing fist hurtling towards him. Then everything went black.

Contented with a job well done, Sakura planted herself back onto her barstool and took her final swig of sake.

"If that's not enough for a new door, send me an invoice and I'll forward you some money, okay?" she asked the wide-eyed bartender.

Not only had she knocked out Yuudai, an incredbly large man, she had also sent him flying through the door of the inn, and into the building across the street. All in one punch. A gust blew into the room from the bashed open door and her hood slid off her head, revealing her cotton-candy pink hair. She sighed, knowing she should probably get to bed, effectivly ending this crappy day. Slipping off the bar stool, she began to slink towards the stairs (more fucking stairs!!) when she heard a cat-call from across the room, followed by a muffled yell. She turned her bleary eyes towards the sound and noted three figures sitting around a table, one with his mouth covered by the hand of another. She winked at the figure and turned her face back towards the stairs and began to trudge up them. It was only when she heard one of them speak, she knew that there was no way this day could get any worse.

"You are such a fucking creeper, _Suigetsu_!"

Sakura froze

Oh snap.

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**A/N**: That was my attempt at some humour. I hope it was actually funny…I can never tell…

Should I continue? Well, up to you guys to tell me…..

Review please!


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